


Empty (yes like the song)

by AllDKai



Series: Sander sides angst one-shots [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Anorexic thinking, Body Dysphoria, Bulimia, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual weight gain to healthy weight, Graphic weight loss, Has become a little more than that, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I tried to write a one shot, I've seemed to of forgotten how to tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Janus is trying his best, M/M, Multi, Not kidding my mental health is decreasing, Please Send Help, Roman needs more help tho, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Virgil and Patton aren't explicitly together, Weight Gain, Weight Issues, anorexic roman sanders, hug him in comments, ish, please don't read if this will trigger you, underweight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26102605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDKai/pseuds/AllDKai
Summary: Drew and posted a picture of roman along to some lyrics from the song empty on Instagram then @ryzasahara commented this prompt:Roman insecurities are off the roof. Its gotten to a point where he thinks he's not as handsome as he is, so he start to starve himself. Only drinking water and sometimes coffee. No one notice until one day Patton notice that Roman is skinny. So skinny to the point you can kinda see bones a bit. Logan asked if he's been starving himself. Roman says no but Janus was there. They had an argument until Roman confessed that he did starved himself and starts to breakdown in front of everyone.So guess what this is. Was meant to be one shot but it might be like two or three chapters?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sander sides angst one-shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895179
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	Empty (yes like the song)

**Author's Note:**

> I would say no one asked for this but someone did so let's get into it.

Looking back Roman could tell when it first started.

The video. He suddenly wasn't Thomas’s hero. Deceit was taking his place and corrupting their human companion. Everything else was falling apart for Roman, making him feel helpless. And all that Princey could focus on was the numbers. That was the only control he had. 

The creative side knew he wasn't as attractive as he made himself seem. Behind all the makeup and clothing was a fat and useless side that couldn't protect anyone. How was he meant to call himself a prince when he couldn't even keep his weight in line! He wasn't good enough for them. He needed to be better. So Roman didn't have dinner that night. His excuse to himself being he just didn't have an appetite seeing he had all these other things on his conscious. It was simple enough to pretend that it didn't bother him, he had other things to focus on like how to defeat ’Janus’ and save Thomas.

He started to eat less and less. At first, he believed it was because of the stress and changes in his life. Slowly he saw the snake’s intentions as they truly were, an attempt to be listened to and help Thomas, a goal they both shared. They apologized for what they did wrong and built up an understanding of each other. Welcoming him to the light side, although Janus didn't move in with them because he still cared for Remus. So now they were trying to find a way to learn to accept his brother as well. 

”I don't see why we still have this lights and darks debacle. Can't we just all be Thomas’s sides and leave it as that?”

They were in their usual spaces for a video, the camera on and catching the entire conversation since Thomas said his intro. And now Logan had brought the discussion to the point of no return. The idea to get rid of the divide had been hanging in the air for a while now but no one, not even Jan, had the courage to touch it. 

Roman chewed on his bottom lip in thought, he knew he was one of the main reasons that it hadn't been an option before. Princey was a tricky side but over time he had started to see the world not so black and white, instead, there were a lot more shades of grey.  
”I agree.”, His eyes were still on the floor but he could feel the looks of slight surprise and pride, ”We- I now know that Janus and even my brother”, it was a big step to finally call him that without malice intent, ” Isn't actively trying to turn Thomas into a monstrous villain.”

There was a few moments of silence before Virgil, who had barely spoken since the beginning added, ”Im still not going to be 100% okay with Deceit and Remus because of personal reasons but Roman is right with his new opinion. They are useful for helping Thomas, or at the very least Mr Lord of the Lies over there is.” He gestured lazily towards where Janus stood next to Patton, a little awestruck. 

There was a second of slight annoyance or hatred across Logan’s face for a reason Roman couldn't quite understand, before Patton asked carefully but with a side of hope, ”So... Does that mean it's official? Are there now no more light sides and dark sides?”

”Well it -definitely- doesn't come down to you and Thomas. Patton -not- being Morality would -never- mean that he, subconsciously, was the reason that we were divided from the beginning- But, I'm not meaning that in a bad way, as I said it was a subconscious decision that you made on the behalf of what Thomas was learning as right and wrong!”, he added quickly and truthfully as to not come across as rude, ”However it still -doesn’t- mean it's up to what you believe should be right for Thomas.”

Thomas fidgeted slightly while Patton looked down feeling a little guilty. ”Well I'm all for it if Pat is?”, there Human looked around the circle quickly as if double-checking everyone was on board.

”Of course I am. Us being on different sides have only brought Thomas more harm than good. Janus showed me that and I'm glad he did. I'm sorry that the dark sides and light sides we're a thing, to begin with...”, Patton was playing with the cat hoodies sleeves as he apologized, at this point, there would probably be sad sappy music playing overhead as the conclusion of this video came to an end. Janus carefully took Patton’s hands and held it in a comforting manner as he ran his thumb over Pat’s palm. Roman’s chest hurt but the prince didn't connect that to jealously as he tried not to think about how he must stand out compared to the others. His outfit was stupid and made him look even fatter than he already was. 

Logan cleared his throat ruining the moment, ”Well I believe that means this is all sorted so goodbye.” He promptly sank down even as Thomas went to stop him. 

Virgil then sighed, ”Guess that means they're going to move in with us?”, he asked Patton. Who looked conflicted. So Janus stepped in, ”Only if everyone is -definitely not- comfortable with that. I -haven’t even- gotten Remus’s opinion on the matter. Although I'm -sure- he’d be happy about it because of his relationship with the majority of you-”, he cut himself off, before getting back on track, ”If you're not happy with us joining you four we won't. Same goes for if Roman isn't okay with it either.” 

Said Prince perked his head up at his name, bringing his mind back to what was going on rather than his obsessive thoughts on what the fanders must think of him. Patton giggled softly at Roman’s childlike confused look. Although Janus seemed to be concerned but re-said what he told Virgil. ”Oh- I'm fine with it. Plus, I should probably talk and apologize to Remus as well...” 

Virgil made a quick sound of agreement, ”Do whatever you want though that doesn't mean I'm open to being besties with you two either.”, he muttered while doing a salute and sinking down.

”Well this has been a productive video. I'm glad we’ve come to a sort of calm.”, Patton smiled brightly, ”You two should come to dinner!” 

”I don't know about that- I’ll talk to Remus about it though and check if he’d be okay with such a thing.”, Janus let go of Patton’s hands only now realising how awkwardly long he’d been holding them. 

”Okay! Well, I'll still make sure to cook extra and set two more place sets out just in case.”, Morality started sinking down before turning to Thomas, ”You should have a cookie for today, love you!” 

”Love you too Pat.”, he smiled as Patton disappeared. ”And as for you Janus.”, said side cautiously looked at the human, ”Love you, you slimy snake boy.”

”O-oh.”, Janus seemed lost for words as he smiled kinda goofily, which Roman couldn't help but smile a little at how cute it was. 

”Yeah, if it wasn't for your continues attempts at trying to teach me a lesson we would have never gotten to this point. I may have not understood your motivations before but I'm glad you stuck with it. Thank you, Janus.”, Thomas had a heartfelt moment with the snake side.

In silence, Roman left. Neither noticed thanks to said moment, which was for the best, Princey didn't want to take up even more of there time. He already probably ruined the video with his body let alone when he opened his mouth. 

He kept messing everything up, ruining Janus and Remus’s lives. There was so much wrong with him and no matter how hard he tried he just wasn't getting better. But maybe...

Roman had a thought as he looked over himself in one of the many mirrors in his room. Maybe he could start raining some control and make himself better... Maybe-

The prince shot across his room in misplaced excitement, taking out a small new notebook, and heading into the bathroom connected by a single boring door. In the corner was a simple scale that he used every now and then to see how much he's disappointed, Thomas. Quickly stepping on it and writing what he found in the book, 166lbs. As Roman thought, he was fat.

But he will fix that.


End file.
